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My oh so optomistic self

I really don’t know why I thought that working/doing as much as I do would be a good idea. I mean, minus the fact that I will have saved a decent chunk of change by the end of the summer so the school year will be a bit easier on me financially, I’ve been stretched so thin that I might actually disintegrate into nothingness.

The worst part about the workload is not that I am stretched thin and feel like I might actually snap but rather that I haven’t seen my family in probably 3 weeks now. I feel foolish for not visiting but the little bit of time I have I try to go running or be productive.

I also feel foolish to come here and constantly discuss this topic. By now I should have changed something in my life in order to relieve some of the pressure. I think that the pressure is actually what is validating my existence in my head right now and it’s kind of frightening. I can’t imagine not being this busy. I also don’t know what not being asininely busy feels like. Maybe I’d dislike that more.

I suppose there is not much to change as of now, though. There is three weeks left of research (thank the Lord) and then things (kind of) cool down. I have a crazy 2 weeks once research is done and I WILL be miserable/exhausted/irritable but it calms down soon after. Then I can really focus on studying for the GRE so that the 20th of August won’t be a complete waste of 200 dollars.

Sigh, I guess I’m just exhausted tonight after what feels like such a long weekend. A good night’s sleep will probably help a great deal.

Until the next time,

Whitney.

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To the Guy Flying a Confederate Flag in Exeter, New Hampshire

This.

Emily C. Heath

I saw your truck parked in front of the Rite-Aid, right by the Dunkin Donuts. Two large Confederate flags were attached to the back of it, waving in the wind. The American flag was, incongruously (and in violation of the flag code), in the center. And, I have to confess, I don’t get it.

Part of me wanted to ask obvious questions: You know you are in New Hampshire, right? And, you know New Hampshire was not a part of the Confederacy?

11709431_400316456841007_5791455240479926301_nI ask this because I’m not so sure you do. Here we are in a northern town, a place that gave her sons up to the Union Army and lost them on the battlefields of the Civil War. A place where locals organized early against slavery and led the charge against it across the country. A place where 150 years ago that flag would have been seen as…

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Tuesday, June 16th

So everything lately has been rather chaotic. I work 3 jobs that take up about 60ish hours a week of my time. I feel as though time isn’t actually moving. It’s the same events day in and day out. Oy, I can’t wait for the next 5 and a half weeks to be over.

I’m doing research this summer so I can get a jump start on my thesis for the fall. Overall, it’s been a good idea. I get to work at 8:30 in the morning, set up a reaction, wait, go to lunch, finish up the reaction, wait, and then go back to my room. Not a bad set-up. Plus, since I’m on campus, I spend a lot of time with fellow chemistry majors. It’s a fun time

I still work at Teavana selling tea and merchandise. That’s not a bad set-up either. I work a couple shifts a week and there really isn’t too much to think about when you’re there. It’s turned out to be rather mindless work which is exactly what I needed. I also still work at the Golf Club. I’d like to think I’m pretty good at my job by now. I know I’m a good server so that also makes for a good shift. Plus, I’m only there for one day a week and events so I don’t get a chance to get frustrated.

My boyfriend is still just as good as the last time I posted anything. We’ve been together for over a year now. Time really does start to fly once you grow up. It’s pretty mind-boggling.

So minus the fact that my life is chaos at least it’s organized chaos. I can handle that.

we

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It’s actually kind of cool

That when I don’t post anything for a really long time people will still come and look at my stuff.

I’ve just been beyond busy lately – between school, my boyfriend, my best friend and work it’s been rather time consuming.

But I’m more than half way through this semester.

Actually, I have a grand total of 4 weeks left I’m pretty sure.

That’s magical.

So eventually I will be able to dedicate time to wonderful activities such as writing, reading and blogging again.

And that’s magical all in itself.

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Myself

I’ve been in such an incredible mood

these past couple of days.

Firstly, I have two days off this week. LIKEEE WAAAAAHT? That happens? Ha! Can’t be. But it did. And I am thrilled. I spent yesterday with James. We cuddled up and watched movies on a perfect stormy day. I learned that the Expendables is such a stupid dude movie and The Dark Knight Rises is so great. Along with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Mmm!

Secondly, I came to the realization that I go back to school is a little over two weeks. Now, most students are probably cringing as I type this but I am SO excited. I love starting classes all over again. It feels as though it is a whole new opportunity to become organized and have a clean slate. I have most of my stuff for my dorm bought and ready to go. Plus, I get to see my best friend. That will be so refreshing! I miss her immensely.

Thirdly, IT’S SHARK WEEK! I LOVE SHARK WEEK. IT’S THE BEST WEEK EVER. I love sharks. I love the ocean. I love marine biology. I love it all. So, needless to say, it’s been on every chance possible. My sister is even watching it now. It’s fantastic and quite amusing.

I also started carrying around my journal with me again. So far, I’ve used it to make lists about linen iron and event preparations for next week. Ha, I’m pathetic. I make myself chuckle. Oh well! Only two more weeks 🙂

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Myself

Woo, having an evening off to do whatever I want.

But realizing that I would have rather worked.

Not working makes me realize how truly lonely I am right now. All of my friends are a minimum of an hour away. I want to finish school shopping but the idea of going by myself is really lame. I am just really sad today. I wish it was September already. I strongly dislike summer.

It seems as though I go through this every few years. At one moment, I have an abundance of friends. It’s almost difficult to fit everyone into my schedule. Next moment, I have no social life. My social life consists on the people I see at work. Both extremes are really shitty. That’s why I like school. I get my fill of people when I am lonely but then I can see only a select few at all other times.

James just told me that he is going to visit on Wednesday. Now I’m feeling a little bit better. It’s amazing how that works.

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