I really don’t know why I thought that working/doing as much as I do would be a good idea. I mean, minus the fact that I will have saved a decent chunk of change by the end of the summer so the school year will be a bit easier on me financially, I’ve been stretched so thin that I might actually disintegrate into nothingness.
The worst part about the workload is not that I am stretched thin and feel like I might actually snap but rather that I haven’t seen my family in probably 3 weeks now. I feel foolish for not visiting but the little bit of time I have I try to go running or be productive.
I also feel foolish to come here and constantly discuss this topic. By now I should have changed something in my life in order to relieve some of the pressure. I think that the pressure is actually what is validating my existence in my head right now and it’s kind of frightening. I can’t imagine not being this busy. I also don’t know what not being asininely busy feels like. Maybe I’d dislike that more.
I suppose there is not much to change as of now, though. There is three weeks left of research (thank the Lord) and then things (kind of) cool down. I have a crazy 2 weeks once research is done and I WILL be miserable/exhausted/irritable but it calms down soon after. Then I can really focus on studying for the GRE so that the 20th of August won’t be a complete waste of 200 dollars.
Sigh, I guess I’m just exhausted tonight after what feels like such a long weekend. A good night’s sleep will probably help a great deal.
Until the next time,